1: The Search for Meaning

Cease not to seek day and night and remit not yourselves until ye find the purifying mysteries which will purify you and make you into a refined light, so that ye will go on high and inherit the light of my kingdom.

- Jesus, Pistis Sophia, ch. 100

Modern life has provided many marvels for us, but has it produced happiness?

Clean water, enough food, and a safe place to sleep provide our basic needs. Those who lack these things suffer daily. Yet, it is also true that those who possess all these things suffer too.

To be comfortable and to enjoy life is good, but it is not authentic happiness.

Gnostically speaking, happiness is found in the ‘light’ of your innermost consciousness. Everything else is just ashes and dust.

We have been educated in false values that lead us away from this light. We search outside instead of within.

More difficult still, are those murmurs which seem to say that there is nothing to search for at all.

Is life just a random series of events lacking any meaning? This type of existential view is nothing new. It is the standard framework of modern science.

Many spend their days rushing towards a finish line of achievement and success. How often does this lead to happiness? When is the mind satisfied with what it has acquired?

Is it any different for those full of regret, or for those who feel like failures?

Suicide? Depression? Yes, for some. A life without meaning? Yes, for many. How can we deal with these problems of life?

There are superior and inferior ways of living, and we should strive for better situations in life. Nevertheless, do not confuse this with the meaning of life.

Those who have this confusion are living with ‘false values.’ Let us see what they are…

Some believe that, for no reason whatsoever, things just happen. With this idea, whether you have success or failure is just random luck.

Others like to see the world as a type of Social Darwinism. They say success is determined by one’s refusal to give up, and if you want something, you must take it and not allow others to take it from you. They see the ‘fittest’ ones conquering life.

Some say, everything that happens, occurs because that is the only way that it could happen. This is called fatalism. They believe themselves to be robots ruled by divine will, or, by the mechanical laws of physics. In this view, one cannot help being anything else than what they already are.

The logical conclusion from a fatalistic view, is that self-change is impossible or at best, an illusion. Either way, in this view, one does whatever one wants.

Materialists may yawn in disinterest at those who talk about the soul, or anything not quantifiable by laws of physics discovered hundreds of years ago. For them, the law of the conservation of energy is the best understanding of anything worth considering.

Pontiffs of the Church scientific (so named by Mr. Huxley) feel satisfied with their “physical causal closure” theory and believe, because they have labeled 95% of reality as “dark matter” or “dark energy,” that they have understood what it is. The existential result of this logic is that we are surely just collections of material with no meaning whatsoever.

Some grow up with strong religious convictions. Then, after a terrible chapter of suffering, they lose their convictions and are caught saying, “Just try your best to be nice, because there is no God… no God could possibly permit such suffering in the world….”

As with fatalism, materialism is nothing new. Yet today, amidst the wonders of medicine, mobile phones, and machine learning, the modernist gazes with quaint pity or even disgust at the believers of some magical being called God…

To conjure meaning in life, modern artists worship the idol of meaninglessness.

Militant atheists of a reactionary type, fashion an anti-religion persona. They believe in their own omniscience which tells them that an omniscient God is a fantasy.

The traditionalists and orthodox types, naïvely believe in their lifestyle. They focus on following rules even if it makes them hypocrites. Jesus remarks that such people are like whitened sepulchers filled with the bones of dead men.

Most people it seems, cannot think about any of this because life is already too complex and difficult. For some it is because of poverty of wealth, for others, it is because of poverty of mind. People struggle for happiness, but do not know the cause of what they look for…

The philosophic, intellectual type, with notes of jaded skepticism, feels somewhat bored with the old ideas of God’s existence.

The neuroscientist, the psychiatrist, and the experimental psychologist remark, “The mind is what the brain does. What is real, true, and final, is the brain.”

Freud believed there exists a fundamental paradox within us: a desire to produce a safe society of people who always harbor powerful impulses of violence, lust, and fear. Like him, many believe that all men and women are, at their core, scoundrels. From this perspective, although you can dress him and her in fine clothing, it is impossible to fundamentally change the beast (humanity).

The hippie types deify their animal passions and worship the beast entirely. By doing this they hope to be free. Even the prisoner who decorates their cell with sparkling ornaments remains caged. Look how beautiful the cage can be! They believe that drugs and orgasms help them understand the nature of God-consciousness or freedom.

Evolutionary biologists, psychologists, and anthropologists may view the core of man as a bundle of instincts for protection, preservation, and procreation. It is true that most of society functions at this level. Nevertheless, no dissection of instincts can answer, “Who am I? Why am I here? What is the meaning of my experience?”

The cosmologist says, “we are nothing more than random chance, the byproduct of chemical reactions in lifeless and meaningless space, like pond scum in a gigantic pool of water. One day the sun will explode, and no one will be left to even remember us…” From this perspective, the only conclusion is that everyone should just do whatever they want, because, in the end, everything will amount to nothing anyway.

All these ideas are watered down into everyday life. The result is massive unhappiness and existential crisis.

Discontentment has always been around, yet the ideas of modern life have accelerated it. Everyone, it seems, is desperate for some type of lasting anesthetization of it all.

Denial is sometimes the easiest anesthetic.

Some refuse to inventory their own condition objectively and prefer to live in a personal fantasy, usually involving a lot of resentment towards their neighbors, family, or co-workers.

Yes, there are those who presently have very enjoyable lives. Yet, all conditions change. Nothing is permanent. All your loved ones shall die, and you as well, and then what?

Perhaps most people have no time at all to think about any of this. It is all too abstract to consider. Such people, more common than dust, usually have enormous regret when they realize they are about die.

Most of the time, death comes unexpectedly, and it is painful. It is a fantasy to believe we will be ready for death just because we prefer it to be that way. It is childish to believe our death will be pleasant because it is our preference.

Is it possible that we can prepare for death? For the gnostic, dying is an artform, and the crown of life.

The venom of life is created by our poor choices. Death stings only for the ignorant one.

If you take up a profound ideal, you can transform your life.

There exist many circumstances which appear to have no cause at all. Nevertheless, we must not abandon the search for meaning so easily. The sages recommend meditation.

Jesus, whose real name is Aberamentho, tells us directly that we must not stop searching for the light: “cease not to seek day and night and remit not yourselves until ye find the purifying mysteries which will purify you and make you into a refined light, so that ye will go on high and inherit the light of my kingdom.”

Listen: you must never stop searching for the light. Never.

Beyond light, is a more refined light which you cannot yet comprehend or imagine.

No amount of suffering lasts forever. All things change. All things last so long as the cause continues to produce the result and not a moment more. When the cause of suffering has been eliminated, the results also cease.

The ultimate causes of unhappiness lie within you, and they can be eliminated.

Jesus stated that Heaven and Earth shall pass away (Matthew 24:35). You cannot rely on your future plan of life and you cannot rely on the afterlife. Nothing is for certain. Even Heaven passes away. You only have right now, this moment, to start changing your life.

To know the condition of our life, our mind, our soul, we have to come to know ourselves. This is only possible by acknowledging the sophisms of modernity which prevent us from searching.

We need to critically analyze modern social and intellectual dogmas and reject what is poisonous for inner development.